Saudade, childhood remembered, not my own

rarasaur: #forthepromptless 

Being brand new to blogging for just for me, I just love this Prompts for the Promptless, so many beautiful posts have come out this Episode 10 “saudade” prompt, and I am inspired! Thank you thank you thank you! 

 

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ]Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi]Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a Portuguese word that has no direct translation in English. It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return.[2] A stronger form of saudade may be felt towards people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing.

Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one’s children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It brings sad and happy feelings all together, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.

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This is my daughter, 18 years ago.  She is 20 now, and away at university. I see her every couple of weeks for short visits but of course I miss her still. She is not my Saudade,  the smile in this picture and so many others from this time in her life is my saudade.  This kind of sheer joy for no particular reason is exclusive to young children. She doesn’t  know what danger lurks outside her walls, she isn’t worried about her education or getting a good job or ever buying a home . Hell she doesn’t even care that she is sporting a really bad “homemade” haircut!  

I miss seeing that in her face every day. I miss being responsible for that joy, and I pray that I will get a glimpse of it a few more times before I die! 

 

 

 

 

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